I have had an interesting personal journey with self care. As a daughter of immigrants whose DNA is laced with hard work and self sacrifice it was a difficult concept to deal with. Yet I started a wellbeing travel company that is all about retreating from your daily life to take time for valuable self care….Ironic to say the least!
Initially when we were in start up mode all those years ago, I reverted to my familial conditioning and pushed myself through extreme tiredness and way beyond where I should have. I held myself up with copious amounts of coffee and pushed through the fatigue of night working with sugar. Of course I knew better but I thought I didn’t have a choice, that I was all in and it was the only way not to fail. The fear of failure trumped my knowledge that I was not taking care of myself.
A visit to my favourite Kamalaya Wellness Sanctuary shone a light on my exhaustion and I was diagnosed with adrenal burnout. I fell apart physically and emotionally but in retrospect this was a path I had to follow to understand the importance of self care and that I had to practice what I preach.
Millenials and Generation Z’s are known to embrace wellness trends and to prioritise self care to manage the stress and demands of modern life, but many women of a certain age still hold the belief that self care is selfish. That somehow it is frivolous to spend money and time on yourself and that we should just “pull ourselves together and get on with it” if we are feeling exhausted or stressed. Some older generations may have been taught that taking care of oneself is a luxury reserved for the wealthy or is considered indulgent, or that women in particular should prioritise caring for others such as their children or elderly parents.
I know the first time I told my mother that I was going on a wellness retreat on my own and leaving my family behind she gasped with disapproval. I reminded her that I couldn’t look after my family if my cup was empty and she began to understand. How can we care for others if we don’t take time to care for ourselves.
Self care should be part of everyone’s mantra. To care for ourselves emotionally, physically and spiritually allows us to build our resilience and live our own personal best lives.
Here are some examples of some of my favourite self care rituals:
- Start the day with 10 minutes of intentional time. This can be done in bed and can consist of some stretching to wake up your body, taking some deep breaths and setting out how you want your day to run. Visualise yourself being happy and finding moments of joy in whatever you have to do during the day. Keep a book that you find inspirational or motivational by your bed, open it randomly to a page and really take in the words and meaning and notice how you feel. A couple of my favourite books are “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer and “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz
Note: if you think you can’t spare 10 minutes consider how much time you can easily use scrolling through your phone
- Find an activity that replenishes you where you can deeply relax. One of my favourite forms of therapeutic relaxation is Sound Healing. This can be in the form of crystal bowls, gong and other instruments. You can either do this online with headphones. The free app Insight Timer has many sound healing meditations to listen to or better still find a local sound healer and go to a live sound healing session. You will be surprised how sound healing can help with stress reduction, emotional release and even pain management.
- Get Creative. Find a hobby that you can express your creativity and allocate some time to it. It could be cooking, playing an instrument, painting, arts and craft and in fact anything that gives you pleasure and helps you switch off your 'monkey mind'. During lockdown I picked up playing the piano again after many years and have found that the joy of making music and focusing solely on it means that I can forget anything that is worrying me or weighing me down and is also very satisfying.
- Pamper yourself. This could be on the form of investing in regular massages or facials, taking time to have a relaxing bath, creating your own spa hour at home. It doesn’t really matter but what is important is that you are sending a message to your subconscious mind that you value and care for yourself. These acts of self compassion can boost your self esteem and confidence and can lift your mood.
- I would say this wouldn’t I, but invest in a regular wellbeing holiday. It is the ultimate in self care as you are consciously taking yourself away from your daily life to go on a break that is dedicated to you and your needs. This is neither selfish or frivolous but a way to prioritise your mental, physical and emotional health. There is nothing more important than that if you want to lead life that is fulfilling and happy. In turn you are then able to help others without feeling exhausted or resentful.
Lots of love
Stella
x
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